There were a few things Tony expected Soldier to say, and it wasn't that. It's so jarring that it throws him for a loop, brain buffering like it's on a shitty WiFi signal. An answer starts to come out of his mouth before he fully comprehends why Soldier would be asking that.
"Like a, a decontamination shower? Uh, There's one in any lab in the building? The usual Avengers entrances, too." It's saved them more times than any of them would probably like to admit-- weird alien substances or just the plain ol' mysterious deadly goop is incredibly common in the superhero business.
But that can't be where Soldier is going with this. Even though he hasn't figured it out yet, Tony has that sinking feeling in his gut again that is becoming rapidly familiar. Like his body just knows this is another thing that has to do with shitty Hydra captors and it's preparing for the onslaught of horror and disgust that usually follows in its wake.
"Not much of a use for that in a home bathroom," he says, lightly, and then that's when it hits him like a freight train. Hydra referred to the Winter Soldier as the Asset. Soldier was an assassin, but it was more like he was the gun, and Hydra was the one pulling the trigger. They shoved the guy in cryo whenever they weren't using him, like they were putting him in storage. Of course he probably didn't get to do anything like a person, let alone bathe like one.
(What'd Hydra even do, hose him down like a dog? Though, maybe that was even being too generous, since at least dogs these days went to groomers where there was shampoo and conditioner and haircuts and pampering.)
Tony remembers a time, back when it was just Iron Man, where he'd been hit with this corrosive fluid. The suit had taken the brunt of it, but SHIELD was paranoid, so they'd shoved him into a decontamination room at their facility. Tony had been stark (hah) naked as the day he was born, surrounded by a bunch of guys in hazmat suits. Transgender-ness aside (which SHIELD had known about anyway, the world knows about anyway, so whatever), it was a skin crawling experience, and he'd only done it the once before he installed his own so he'd never have to do that again. Tony can't imagine doing that for seventy fucking years!
Shoving down the horror and outage (and bile) was hard, but Tony managed. He definitely felt it bleed into the smile he flashed Soldier with, yet continued on anyway. "Here, c'mon, I'll show you how it works." While he was at it, he also pointed to the various bottles and things on the shower shelf so Soldier knew what he was working with.
"I don't know if you were thinking about a haircut," Tony starts, as he rifles through the different plastic bottles. He's putting all the ones applicable for Soldier on the top of the shelf, everything else going on the bottom-- mostly just different products meant for hair types the guy doesn't have. "But if not, there's some great stuff in here." Tony squints at the back of a bottle for something he's pretty sure he saw Natasha using once (and thus had JARVIS, at the time, order in bulk), shrugs, and puts it on the top.
"Long hair is the worst when it's all limp and oily," he mumbles. It's said like someone speaking from experience, and well... it is. It was a lifetime ago that his hair was that long, but Tony could never forget what it was like.
"I think we keep razors in the--" He turns around and goes over to the sinks, or, more specifically, the medicine cabinet next to the mirror on the wall over the sinks. "Yeah, here. Not that the scruffy look isn't working for ya', but not everyone enjoys having stubble." Tony shrugs. Calloused fingers smooth over his own meticulously kept goatee, another unconscious movement.
"'Kay, uh. I'll get out of your hair. Any questions? Oh, and towels are over here."
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There were a few things Tony expected Soldier to say, and it wasn't that. It's so jarring that it throws him for a loop, brain buffering like it's on a shitty WiFi signal. An answer starts to come out of his mouth before he fully comprehends why Soldier would be asking that.
"Like a, a decontamination shower? Uh, There's one in any lab in the building? The usual Avengers entrances, too." It's saved them more times than any of them would probably like to admit-- weird alien substances or just the plain ol' mysterious deadly goop is incredibly common in the superhero business.
But that can't be where Soldier is going with this. Even though he hasn't figured it out yet, Tony has that sinking feeling in his gut again that is becoming rapidly familiar. Like his body just knows this is another thing that has to do with shitty Hydra captors and it's preparing for the onslaught of horror and disgust that usually follows in its wake.
"Not much of a use for that in a home bathroom," he says, lightly, and then that's when it hits him like a freight train. Hydra referred to the Winter Soldier as the Asset. Soldier was an assassin, but it was more like he was the gun, and Hydra was the one pulling the trigger. They shoved the guy in cryo whenever they weren't using him, like they were putting him in storage. Of course he probably didn't get to do anything like a person, let alone bathe like one.
(What'd Hydra even do, hose him down like a dog? Though, maybe that was even being too generous, since at least dogs these days went to groomers where there was shampoo and conditioner and haircuts and pampering.)
Tony remembers a time, back when it was just Iron Man, where he'd been hit with this corrosive fluid. The suit had taken the brunt of it, but SHIELD was paranoid, so they'd shoved him into a decontamination room at their facility. Tony had been stark (hah) naked as the day he was born, surrounded by a bunch of guys in hazmat suits. Transgender-ness aside (which SHIELD had known about anyway, the world knows about anyway, so whatever), it was a skin crawling experience, and he'd only done it the once before he installed his own so he'd never have to do that again. Tony can't imagine doing that for seventy fucking years!
Shoving down the horror and outage (and bile) was hard, but Tony managed. He definitely felt it bleed into the smile he flashed Soldier with, yet continued on anyway. "Here, c'mon, I'll show you how it works." While he was at it, he also pointed to the various bottles and things on the shower shelf so Soldier knew what he was working with.
"I don't know if you were thinking about a haircut," Tony starts, as he rifles through the different plastic bottles. He's putting all the ones applicable for Soldier on the top of the shelf, everything else going on the bottom-- mostly just different products meant for hair types the guy doesn't have. "But if not, there's some great stuff in here." Tony squints at the back of a bottle for something he's pretty sure he saw Natasha using once (and thus had JARVIS, at the time, order in bulk), shrugs, and puts it on the top.
"Long hair is the worst when it's all limp and oily," he mumbles. It's said like someone speaking from experience, and well... it is. It was a lifetime ago that his hair was that long, but Tony could never forget what it was like.
"I think we keep razors in the--" He turns around and goes over to the sinks, or, more specifically, the medicine cabinet next to the mirror on the wall over the sinks. "Yeah, here. Not that the scruffy look isn't working for ya', but not everyone enjoys having stubble." Tony shrugs. Calloused fingers smooth over his own meticulously kept goatee, another unconscious movement.
"'Kay, uh. I'll get out of your hair. Any questions? Oh, and towels are over here."